The title, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die: Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression by Sarah J. Robinson, jolted me with a spark of electricity. I read it at a time when I needed reassurance. Encouragement. Something.

Although it took me longer to read this book than others, I didn’t want to miss a single word. There is a real need for books about mental illness that hold firm to Biblical truth—especially with honesty and grace. Early in the book, Sarah writes: ”it means nothing is wrong with us when we struggle in the darkness. It means we haven’t failed, we aren’t bad Christians, and we’re not lacking faith. Jesus promised we would have trials and sorrows and hard times.”

This book is deeply rooted in Biblical truths, paired with practical applications. It also includes helpful insights from therapists, authors, and specialists in mental illness and depression.

Sarah writes with raw honesty as she shares her personal battles: the grip of depression, a suicide attempt, the habit of cutting, persistent dark thoughts, and the shame that kept her from asking for help for so long. (She thoughtfully includes “trigger warnings” throughout the book to prepare readers.) When she finally reached out to fellow ministry leaders, she received love and guidance—but she also discovered how woefully unprepared church leaders often are to help those facing mental illness.

Like many who struggle with depression, Sarah’s inner voice urged her to work harder, serve others more, and have stronger faith. The shame she carried was heavy. That relentless self-talk telling her to “get on with it” and “push through” may help in temporary struggles—but it doesn’t reflect the reality of living with depression and anxiety as chronic illnesses. Being a Christian doesn’t mean enduring depression without pain or struggle.

Over time and with effort, Sarah found relief through medication prescribed by her doctor and therapy with caring counselors. She learned to be ruthless with self-care, set firm boundaries, and practice strategies to push back the darkness when it returns. One profound realization she shares is that while she loves Jesus deeply, complete healing from her mental illness may not come in this life. Yet she writes: “When we endure suffering, including mental illness, we have the opportunity to know God in an incarnational way.” I believe she has truly come to know Him in this way.

Who Should Read this Book

This book is not just for those living with depression and anxiety who want validation and strategies. It is equally vital for their loved ones, friends, and ministry leaders. It offers an intimate glimpse into the thought patterns of depression, guidance on the right—and wrong—ways to offer support, and how to listen and love well. People battling mental illness often feel irrevocably broken. Their shame becomes a “self-reinforcing loop, turning back on itself to create more and more shame about our shame.” Those suffering need understanding, hope, and compassion. For family members, simple affirmations like “I don’t think less of you” and “You’re still worth loving” can be priceless.

Through Sarah’s courageous example, I hope readers will recognize those who are struggling and reach out with genuine love and encouragement. I’m grateful for her honesty in sharing the pain, the struggles, and her journey toward acceptance and healthier living.

Her words are an inspiration as I walk a similar path. I was heartened to see how self-talk can be transformed, how self-care is not optional but essential, and how boundaries are vital tools for self-preservation. Reading this book left me uplifted, affirmed, and empowered.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Waterbrook Publishing for my review. As an Amazon Affiliate, there may be links in this post, which if you click through and make a purchase, I will receive a small commission that helps support this blog. You are in no way obligated to use these links.