In the tapestry of life, friendships are the vibrant threads that weave our stories together. For women, loyal friendships are more than mere companionship; they are lifelines that anchor us during storms and elevate us during sunny days. These bonds often go beyond time, distance, and circumstance, offering comfort, laughter, and unwavering support.
In midlife, these friendships often deepen in value—becoming steady sources of spiritual and emotional renewal as we navigate life’s many changes.
In today’s world of reality TV, we unfortunately view the drama of “friendships” that includes gossiping, secrets and betrayals, exclusion, and envy. We can get caught up in seeing other women’s “perfect” lives on social media, which can erode confidence and feed the comparison trap.
Ingredients of Loyal Friendships
“….Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” -Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)
In midlife, the value of true friendships (without drama) cannot be overstated. These connections may be with women of similar age, those older and can offer mentorship, or younger women whom we can mentor.
Loyal friendships are the ones that thrive. Loyalty serves as the bond that cements a friendship. It embodies a steadfast commitment and unwavering faithfulness. In such friendships, trust, dependability, and reliability are paramount. Being a loyal friend means standing by someone, defending them when they are not present, and providing steadfast support and sincere affection.
Bible Guidelines for Friendship:
- Think of the other person first. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves. (Philippians 2:3 NIV)
- Forgiveness is required. “Bear with one another and forgive one another if any you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13 NIV)
- Offer grace and support. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 NIV)
An Ancient Example of Loyal Friendship
A historical example of enduring friendship is that between David and Jonathan, depicted in 1 Samuel 18-19. Jonathan, the prince and son of Saul, Israel’s inaugural king, showed unyielding devotion to David, the “Lord’s Anointed” and Israel’s destined ruler. Unlike his father, Jonathan acknowledged the divine blessing upon David and perceived a soulmate in him. 1 Samuel 18:1 describes their profound bond: “Jonathan’s soul was bound to David’s soul, and Jonathan cherished him as he did his own soul.”
When King Saul’s jealousy toward David escalated, he threatened David’s life, forcing him to become a fugitive. Despite these circumstances, Jonathan found ways to support his friend, as recorded in I Samuel 23:17: “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Even my father Saul knows this.”
Despite knowing he wouldn’t succeed in his father’s throne, Jonathan bore no resentment or envy. He humbly supported and encouraged David, even assuring him of his continual support once David became the next king. Jonathan’s love for David was genuine, untainted by any personal gain from their friendship.
Jonathan exemplifies a loyal friend, a model I aspire to follow: a steadfast, reliable, and affectionate confidant who fulfills the unique role God intends for me in that relationship. Like Jonathan, I want to be a steadfast, reliable, and affectionate friend—the kind God uses to uplift others. I know there’s room for me to grow, and I trust God to help me show up more fully for the women He’s placed in my life.
Live it Out
Friendships need nurturing, especially in this season of life. Take one simple step this week:
- Call or write a friend you’ve lost touch with.
- Invite someone for coffee, even if it feels awkward.
- Pray for your friendships—current and future—and ask God to help you be the kind of friend He created you to be.
You’re never too old to make new soul-connections or deepen old ones.
Disclosure: Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (NIV): Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™. Used by permission of Zondervan.
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