1. The later you stay up at night, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys will multiply to fill any space available. Including the toilet.
4. Your child always seems to be the one who doesn’t behave.
5. If the shoe fits . . . it’s expensive.
6. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
7. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet. And on the walls. And probably in places you would rather not think about.
8. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom. Or a toddler to make a poopy diaper.
9. Even when there is an opportunity to sneak a snack without anyone hearing, it is imminent that you will step on a renegade Lego that will give yourself up.
10. The more challenging the child, the more chocolate and/or coffee that is necessary to cope.